A Proposal For The Resolution Of The Debt Problem And The Increase Of Efficiency In The American Government

The following is a proposal written up by one of my smaller friends who occasionally does time as an obstruction for me to bounce ideas off of.

As election season approaches and the debt crisis escalates I would like to propose a solution to our economic problems and to our government’s inefficiency. In a word: Monarchy.

Every two years billions of dollars are dumped into the election industry, an industry which produces a million annoying ads, vast amounts of paper signage, a few hundred politicians, and not much else. A pure monarchy would do away with this mess and help the nation in three ways. First, it will free up those billions of dollars to do something useful and build the economy, which can then be taxed more to increase government revenues. Second, Monarchy will free up hundreds of educated men and women now serving in public offices for the work force, which will further grow the economy, which will further increase revenues. Thirdly, it will remove the annoying campaign adds, which will result in calmer people in the work place, which will be conducive to better business decisions which will help grow the economy, which will increase revenues still more to the point that we can pay off the debt, pay people to do nothing, and still have a space program so we don’t have to ride to our space station at the Russian’s convenience. A further note on Space, Monarchies like big things, which would give the monarch the added incentive of encouraging NASA to make bigger and better Shuttles instead of telling them to work on some multicultural time killing investigation. Such a move would reemploy a number of people, which would further grow the economy, further increasing revenue.

The running of the nation by a monarchy would also cut down on the amount of money given away by people seeking reelection, which would increase the amount of money in the treasury, possibly raising it as high as not-completely-in-debt.

A Monarchy would also solve many of our foreign policy problems. With a monarch for life, there will be no more switching back and forth every four years in our policies. Also, with military power concentrated in one person military problems will be dealt with quickly and efficiently, a few bombs, a group of Marines, and problems like the one in Libya could be changed from a small nation bloodbath to a small nation mess-which-may-also-be-a-bloodbath-but-will-receive-less-press-because-there-are-fewer-big-caliber-explosions-mess.

Also, because a Monarch will rule for life, he will be more likely to be careful with his nation’s treasure since he has to make it last a lifetime, not just four to six years.

To conclude, let me put my argument into a logical syllogism for the effect of greater clarity.

We need a more efficient government than a Democratic Republic

Monarchy is a more efficient government than a Democratic Republic.

Therefore we need Monarchy.

Logic makes it so simple!

-Mark Auralius Tudorius